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You want to know what is REALLY hard to make look delicious?

That would be, a bowl of this here soup.

I mean, it’s freaking tasty stuff, this soup, but it will definitely be filed under the category of what I like to call, ugly food. Don’t get me wrong, ugly food is almost always tasty – we’ve been over this before – it’s just that you’re going to have to convince your guests/spouse/disbelieving children of that fact before they’ll even sit down to the table. I tried to be all Ina-like and add “a garnish that reflects the flavors present in the dish” – that’s why the rosemary spring is just hanging out over there on the left – because honestly, brown soup is just a wee bit unappetizing.

Okay, so we’ve been over the basics of why you probably WON’T want to try this soup. But this is a food blog, so its not like I’m going to post horrible recipes. So let’s go over the reasons why you should try this, non?

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1. It’s a recipe from Ina Garten, whose every recipe is a foodgasm in the making, and who is only second to God in our foodie world next to Martha Stewart. (But is actually first in God’s eyes because Ina hasn’t been to jail. Go Ina.)

2. It’s made with all natural ingredients like chicken stock and white beans, so you know it’s good for you without tasting like cardboard.

3. This is a perfect dish for winter, since it uses just about the only thing “in season” in Colorado – dried beans.

4. The end product is creamy without being heavy, flavorful without being full of fat. The best of both worlds.

5. The ugly factor of food is inversely related to how delicious the food is. So this dish is obviously off the charts. (Obviously.)

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So, now that I’ve thoroughly convinced you, Law & Order-style, get thee to your grocery store/farmers market/pantry some cannellini beans.

And make sure to distract your children/spouse/guests with cartoons/sports/booze before you serve this.

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Rosemary White Bean Soup

Adapted from Ina Garten
Serves 6

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The only “adaptations” included reducing the amount of olive oil (because she alway uses a ton, bless her heart) and removing all references to “good” ingredients that will make you feel inferior.

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Gather:
1 pound dried white cannellini beans
4 cups sliced sweet yellow onions
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 large branch fresh rosemary
6 cups chicken stock
1 bay leaf
kosher salt, to taste
fresh cracked pepper, to taste

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Prepare:
Pick through the beans to remove any pebbles or other debris. In a large bowl, cover beans with at least 2 inches of cold water. Let soak overnight or at least 8 hours. Drain.

In a large stockpot, saute the onions with the olive oil until translucent, 10 to 15 minutes. (Note: Instead of adding more olive oil, just add a bit of water if the onions start to burn. And if you do burn the onions, just tell your guests it’s “Caramelized Onion White Bean Soup.”) Add the garlic and cook for 3 minutes until fragrant. Add the drained white beans, rosemary, chicken stock, and bay leaf. Cover; bring to a boil, and simmer 30 to 40 minutes, until the beans are soft. Remove rosemary and bay leaf.  Pass the soup through the coarsest blade of a food mill, or puree half of the soup in a blender/food processor. Continue pureeing and mixing until you reach a consistency you like. (I prefer a course puree.) Return the soup to the pot, and reheat. Add salt and pepper to taste. Serve hot.

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Best Coast / The End

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Remember how I confessed to never having tried apple butter yesterday?

Remember how I said I remedied that immediately?

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Yeah. This is how I remedied that.

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It would be waaaaay too easy for me to take the easy way out and just do one batch of classic apple butter. I mean, you know me by now. You knew that when faced with 14 cups of apple butter, I would make 4 different kinds. Right?

Right.

Of course, I hit the classic apple butter – just some cinnamon, nutmeg, and clove thrown in. Very delicate, not too sweet. I like it. I kind of wanted to eat it straight out of the jar.

Then I figured, a ginger apple butter. Extra-light coloring, a hint of ginger to spice things up a bit. Ginger is like cowbell – you always need more.

And let’s do bourbon! I mean, I have plenty laying around, for pete’s sake.

Finally, I had to play the savory note. Flavor Bible says: rosemary. Thankfully, when I burnt this batch a bit, I just called it “caramelized.”

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Mostly all I want to do right now is eat it straight. But as an apple butter virgin, I ask you, dear readers: how do you eat your apple butter?

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Classic Apple Butter

Adapted from Ball Complete Book of Home Preserving
Makes 8 8-oz jars

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Gather:
6 pounds apples, peeled, cored, and quartered
water as needed
2 cups brown sugar
2 teaspoons cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg

Prepare:
Cook apples over medium heat in a large saucepan. Add water to just cover the bottom of the pan. Stir the apples occasionally and add more water if the apples begin to stick. Cook apples until softened, about 15 minutes. Put through a food mill. Measure puree, and divide into smaller batches if you will make adaptations as directed below. Prepare canner, jars, and lids. Return puree to pot, add in sugar and spices as directed; add in ginger, reduced bourbon, or rosemary as needed. Stir until sugar dissolves and butter becomes thick and begins to sputter. Ladle into hot jars, leaving 1/4 inch headspace. Process for 10 minutes, adjusting for altitude as necessary. Leave in canner for 5 more additional minutes; let stand for 24 hours before checking seals. Store for up to 12 months.

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Adaptations:

Ginger – Skip cinnamon, nutmeg and clove. Add freshly grated ginger to taste before canning and processing. I used about 1/2 teaspoon for each 8-oz jar.

Bourbon – Reduce cinnamon by half; skip nutmeg and clove. Reduce 1/2 cup bourbon over medium heat. Add to apple butter before canning and processing. (I used about 1/2 cup straight bourbon for 4 jars of bourbon apple butter.)

(Caramelized) Rosemary –  Reduce cinnamon by half; skip nutmeg and clove. Add finely minced rosemary to taste before canning and preserving. I used about 1/2 teaspoon per jar. Burn apples unintentionally for about 3 minutes before freaking out, complete with wild hand gestures and increased heart rate.

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The Decemberists / Down By the Water

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